Relapse…

I’ve been delaying writing this post for the last few days but I know I have to come clean and accept this to myself so I can move on. I also want to keep the integrity within this blog to the highest standard as I know you want to read a true story.

As you can guess by this point I’ve gotten drunk (rather than staying sober for the 4 weeks as promised). I’m so disappointed with myself but I’ll explain to you how it happened. So I live in a house share with 3 other guys and one guy decided to have a party on Saturday night. With the flat being filled with 8 guys drinking heavily, I thought it’d be best to get out the house. I knew that there was a meetup event happening that same night. I’d been to these a few times before so knew what to expect. They usually contain very little alcohol as everyone wants to make a good first impression. You basically get the chance to meet tonnes of new people who live in the local area who are all around your age group; PERFECT (this can be really hard due to living in a town rather than a city).

I arrived at the pub where they were meeting with the sole intention of drinking some soft drinks to ease my nerves. The night got off to a fantastic start – I met 2 guys who I really got along well with. The night started to spiral when they clearly wanted to get drunk. I’m a sucker for a free shot and should really have stronger willpower at my age…

The night ended at around 4am. The day after was worse than any ever other hangover day – not physically but I mentally beat myself up over the fact I couldn’t stick to my promise. I felt like a failure (and still do to an extent). How can I not even manage a week without alcohol!? Am I an alcoholic!?

I need to jump over this hurdle and just put it behind me. It isn’t doing me any good thinking about it. Let’s focus on the positives – I’ve made 2 new friends in the area who I can hangout with.

My promise still stands – I won’t get drunk for the next 4 weeks concluding on the 10th March. If I want an alcoholic drink, of course I’ll still have one. But I can’t have more than 2 in one sitting otherwise I’ll want to follow through to getting wrecked. I can’t deal with disappointing myself again.

What do you all think? Do I need to just cut alcohol out completely? Am I right to look forward and put it behind me?

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